I keep trying to update, but what's the point? All my stories are too long now, and take up too much time.

There is this guy, but he doesn't like me the way I like him. You know how sometimes you have a friendship with someone, and in the back of your head you know that that friend would like the relationship to be more? And they would do anything for you, and you hang out with them because you like them, but you always keep them at arms length because you don't want them to "get any ideas" about how you feel about them? I am that person for this guy. I know he doesn't feel the way I do. And it confuses me and pisses me off that I feel the way I do about him. He's not my type. And if we dated, it would end badly, probably before it got off the ground. But I still hope. I still want him. I feel stupid. Maybe I feel this way because no matter how much of a long shot he is, he is the closest I'm gonna get.

I'm in an ugly duckling phase. I feel fat, my hair is unruly and my skin is bad. I know this will not last, but it sure does suck.

I gotta go. My head hurts, and I feel like shit.